So I was active, but the birth was terrible. After, physically I felt really good and I was really fast on my level. Mentally, of course, a lot changed.
I also played a bit different than I had until this time. I was looking for the others more. From this time, my ego was less. As a young player, there is only the goal and you only want to have the ball and you want only goals. This is the biggest difference. Also in my life, I look even more for other people.
My husband has been so important in handling my career while having our son. My husband and also my mum, who comes a lot from Gdansk to Bietigheim. When my son was one until two years old, my husband took the “papa time” in the first year, because I was back to normal on the court after five or six weeks.
When my husband started to work again, then my mum was almost living with us. Only going for short periods to Gdansk, because I needed someone I could trust. Every time, I knew that my mum would do this, would like to do this, and I could concentrate again on handball 100 per cent. Now it’s easier because my son goes to school. But the first three years were very, very hard.
During championships, I could take my son with me, but I decided not to do this. I knew that my concentration would not be 100 per cent because I will know that someone is waiting for me in the room or in the hotel. And also when my mum and my husband will be there, I will not be 100 per cent for handball.
If I could have this opportunity to have him with me, I always said, no, he stays with his dad and with my mum and I was, of course, sure that he will get the best care ever. And it was hard, because I couldn’t see him and I let go of so many tears, many, many times. But I know that if I’m at a tournament, then I want to only think about the tournament, about the games, about the recovery and everything else.
The national team is not an easy for me topic. Three years have passed since I stopped now, although it was not my own decision. I wish it ended another way because I know how important the national team was for me and how much I gave to my country and how much I wanted to give. I also enjoyed it so much. I was going no matter what, because I never thought about myself, only about the team.
For me the national team was always something special. A place for my country. And this is broken in some way. But it’s like this and you never have everything what you want. So, I also had to manage this situation and now of course I know it’s good for me because I’m almost 40 years old and I play on the highest level again in Champions League and the German league.