This is me: Dragana Cvijic

Initially a goalkeeper when she started to play handball as a girl, Dragana Cvijic has developed into one of the leading line players for many years on the European handball courts. Cvijic won the EHF Champions League twice with Buducnost – in 2012 and 2015 – and helped Serbia take silver at the 2013 IHF Women's World Championship. The Serbian star shares her career journey, full of ups and downs, in the latest episode of our This is me series.

THIS IS ME: Dragana Cvijic

I was a mischievous and stubborn child. Sometimes it brought me good things, sometimes maybe bad but I was always true to myself. I think that character also reflected on me as a player. I always wanted to show I can do things people might say I can't. It helped me go through tough times in my career.

I loved sports since I was little, and it might surprise everyone, but handball wasn't my first love or even love at first sight. Football was and still is, to this day. I loved playing with the boys as women's football wasn't popular back in the days but I had to hide it because my mom Verica would not allow it. Even teachers in my school forbid me because it was no surprise to see me in a fight while playing.

In Obrenovac, my hometown, handball was a popular sport but I didn't know anything about it. One day when I was seven my dad, Milan, asked me if I wanted to try it. I remember asking him “what is handball, does it have a ball and a goal?” And that's how I had my first encounter with handball. I didn't stay long, maybe a year. For me, it was boring. You know those first training sessions, learning everything by the book, and all I wanted was to run and score goals.

I came back to handball a few years later. It all started with school competitions as I represented my school in basketball, handball and running. I was everywhere. One day after school the club Radnicki had a training session on the outside court and the coach Momcilo Stakic noticed me playing outside. He asked me if I would join. He actually persuaded me to join the club.

I had an idea to be a goalkeeper but after a month it was boring again. I still remember I used to sit on the side because I didn't want to run or do something. However, the atmosphere, friends, travelling and good times were the reason why handball started to grow on me.

After a short career as a goalkeeper, my real handball beginnings were on the left back. I used to play in the back position until I was 15 years old in Crvena Zvezda. Only a year before, my parents allowed me to move from Obrenovac to Belgrade because of school but they also supported my handball path. They thought it was better that I was at the arena and training rather than being on the streets.

Coaches in Zvezda thought I would be a better line player and it turns out they were not wrong. Again, I was stubborn. For a year I protested, only standing on the line and not catching the ball because I wanted to be a back player. My thought was that a line player is not important, you're just standing and waiting for a ball… Oh, how wrong I was.

When coach Vlada Simicic came to Zvezda, he started working with us, he talked a lot to me and gave me advice for the position. I even started taking private lessons from him and it all fell into the right place. I finally fell in love with the position and handball and realised it could be my life. Today I live handball, I breathe handball and I enjoy playing it.

I played for all youth categories, for the second team and the first team there. Every week I would play five games and train every day and it helped me at the time to stay connected with handball and to mature even more.

And it gave me a competitive spirit. I wanted to show I can be the best, I can be the best line player in the world and that I would be able to play the EHF Champions League one day. I still remember when we were watching Slagelse on TV and I told my friends, “one day I will play there”.

And I did play. Not in Slagelse but in the Champions League. I was 18 when I signed for Krim and moved to Ljubljana. For some, maybe it would be hard to move again at a young age, to move to another country, but I really wanted to go to Krim. I was the first one from my generation to move abroad.

I was with the Serbian junior national team at some championship and I was very good. I received offers from Metz Handball, Buducnost and Krim. The main reason I chose the Slovenian side was Ljubmila Bodnjeva. To this day, for me, she is the best line player in the history of handball.

I wanted to be part of that team, to train and play with her. I will never forget my first interview in Krim, clearly I wasn't thinking straight – I told the interviewer I would be better than her. And I have to say she helped me a lot to progress. For two years in Krim she was teaching me, was coming before the training session because of me and stayed later. Every day. I was demanding, asking thousands of questions. I still don't know how she had patience with me. Her advice is with me even today. I am beyond thankful.

With all those beautiful memories with Krim, I also share a bad one. In my second year in Krim, I got injured. That was my first serious knee injury and with the club being in a transition period I decided to leave. I got a call from Predrag Boskovic and Dragan Adzic to join Buducnost. They had a vision for me, said I would play a lot and after some time I decided to say yes. I moved to Podgorica in March 2011 to train with them and make a comeback for the new season. They played the Champions League semi-finals that year and I had a wish to play it and to raise that trophy.

Buducnost was incredible. Maybe one of the best teams I ever played with. Winning two Champions League titles in three years is hard to describe. But I have to add, that some of the finals I lost later on also have a special place in my heart, like last season with FTC, and with Vardar – unbelievable seasons ending in an amazing way. However, that first one really left a mark on me. The story behind it for me personally is important to me.

Just like with Bodnjeva, in Buducnost I was hanging out all the time with Bojana Popovic and Maja Savic. Two legends and amazing players who were and are living handball. Maja and Bojana had a great influence on me and they still do. As I said, I wanted to raise the trophy and believe it or not, Bojana Popovic had a trophy at her home; Anja Anderson gave her one as a gift. One day in December 2011 she called me and said “come over to see it”. I was so excited. Can you believe it? I was going to Bojana's home to see the Champions League trophy, home of the player I used to watch on TV.

I think I took at least 300 photos with the trophy. I was raising it, pretending I actually won it. Bojana looked at me and said: “If we win the Champions League this season, you will be the first one to raise it. Not me as a captain, you will.” I looked in wonder. From that moment, nothing could stop me from fighting on the court to win it.

Again, in March 2012, I got injured. Same knee, same injury as in Krim. I can't tell you how disappointed I was. We already secured our place in the semi-final and had only one game against Oltchim Valcea in group 2. In the second half, I tore my cruciate ligament and after an MRI scan they told me I needed surgery. I burst into tears. Everyone was there for me, president Boskovic said to me it is important to have a good recovery, that I was still young. Stubborn as I was, I told him: “I will play. I don't care, I will find a way to play and have surgery after the season.” I was ready to do anything just to get to the finals and possibly a trophy.

They really thought I was crazy. But I stood by my words. For two weeks I was doing exercises, one week before the semi-finals against Larvik I came back to the court. We won the first game and I was the player of the match. The adrenaline gave me new energy. We won the rematch also and then had a month’s wait for the finals. I get goosebumps even today.

In the first final in Győr, we lost by two (27:29). I was so sad but Bojana told me to write down all my feelings. Then, to read them again before the rematch. I did it. All those emotions, I must say it really helped me. Drama in Podgorica, a great atmosphere, a crazy game and in the end we won 27:25. The trophy was ours; all my dreams came true. And do you remember Bojana's promise? She kept it. I was the one to raise that historic trophy in Moraca in 2012.

Her move showed me what a great player and a great person is. She taught me, one day, if I'm the team captain, how to be there for your teammates and to help younger players. If I win the Champions League title ever again I would do the same – give someone else the joy of raising the trophy for the first time.

That is a real treasure of sport. Not the results and trophies. The people are. They become a part of your life even when the handball is gone. They become your friends and support alongside your family.

The second title was also special as we did it without experienced players who were leading us three years before. Milena Raicevic, Cristina Neagu, Suzana Lazovic, Katarina Bulatovic… we were now leading. What a great time at the second-ever EHF FINAL 4. Six years in Podgorica left a huge mark on me.

Those beautiful years in Podgorica are intertwined with national team success. In 2013 we won the silver medal at the World Championship played in Serbia. For me, playing for the country and winning the medal at home is something every player dreams of.

We had a plan to be first in the group, not to meet with South Korea and Norway in the knock-out stages but nothing ever goes to plan. We played against both of those teams and I think no one believed we could beat them. But we were crazy in a positive way, everything about those matches was crazy. I was even scoring from penalties. Me. I remember I asked to try it and I will never forget how nervous I was. Norway were leading 22:21 and I volunteered. What to say? But I scored and it felt amazing.

I decided to end my national team career in 2021. After the Olympic Games qualification tournament, my way of seeing things in the national team was not the same as the people in the federation. I realised I was giving all my energy, time and nerves and no one cared. I am proud of the time spent on the national team and how we fought for our country. But sometimes you have to be ready for tough times and be strong enough to make decisions to help yourself.

After Buducnost, I joined Vardar and in the same year, we made it to the EHF FINAL4. I felt good in Skopje and had many friends there with many players I used to play before. The biggest influence on me there was head coach Roberto García Parrondo who gave me a new vision, changed some things in my style of play and helped me to play even better. No matter the great games and reaching the finals I still feel regret we didn’t win the title. Especially as everything ended with the financial problem and shut down of the club; those were really sad times.

I continued my career and life in Romania. I spent three years at CSM Bucuresti and I would say that was the toughest part of my career. I wasn't satisfied in the first place with myself. I had a lot of injuries, three knee surgeries and it felt like I didn't find myself there. It wasn't good and if you ask me why I spent three years, I still don't know. Not to be misunderstood – the club, the people and handball, everything was good, but just not for me. Maybe Covid-19 had a role in it too. I think CSM always have a good team and I hope one day their efforts will be awarded with the EHF FINAL4 again or a title.

However, it did give me something good. I learned how to control myself. I started to think in a different way, to see things from a new perspective. It was a real transition in my life and I realised what is important to me and which things are not. Let's say it was a time of new maturing and getting to know myself deeper, really deep. There came some new decisions and what I want from my life and career going forward.

After it, I joined Krim again but only for a short period of time. Mid-season I needed to find new surroundings for six months as I already had a contract with FTC from the 2022/23 season. To be honest, I never wanted to go to Russia, I had an aversion to it, but CSKA Moscow had a good offer and I wanted to play. They told me Daria Dmitrieva was coming back to the court and I always wanted to play with her, to see how can someone be that good on the court, that cold-blooded and come back stronger after mistakes. And I am happy I got that chance. Everything was great there. It really felt like home. Due to the war, we could not play in the Champions League but I decided to stay and end the season there. Those were some of the best six months of my life.

FTC's 2022/23 season is worthy of a movie. Unbelievable. From a tough start, many injuries, back players playing as line players, a 20-goal defeat against Bietigheim, to winning against Metz in France and all the way to the finals. You couldn't even imagine something like that. A rollercoaster. Full of emotions. You know the saying “one for all and all for one”? We were living it.

I'm sad we didn't have more strength to play better in the finals against Vipers but I think we were emotionally empty after that amazing match against Esbjerg the day before. But just being at the EHF FINAL4 and being able to play the final was equal to winning it. And I'm happy we were the ones making it possible for our fans.

Our 10,000 fans in the MVM Dome in Budapest were a true privilege. To have that many fans in the stands, we players live for things like that. I am still impressed by our fans and Hungarian fans in general. Our fans are always there for us. Each game we have full stands and we have their and the club's support no matter the result or the problems like at the start of this season. And that is one of the reasons you fight and you work hard every day to make it better. For them and for the club.

It is no different this season. Again, we had a tough start but we are fighting. We won the first match and we will continue to work hard. I believe in us. I still believe we can be in the quarter-finals or even at the EHF FINAL4 again. Don't be surprised if FTC make it. No matter how crazy I sound.

I will never stop fighting, no matter where I play or where I live or what happens, just like I never stopped fighting after every injury and rehabilitation process. That is something that is strong in me and I can't help it.

If you ask me what if I get injured again, first I would tell you I would not come back. But in that moment when it happens, and I know very well with seven knee surgeries, some new motivation and new energy appears. I think my stubbornness has a role in it too. I want to show I can come back, be great and play at a high level. My biggest fear is not being able to play as well as I wanted, and that is driving me forward.

My parents still don't know how I play after all those surgeries, injuries and tough times. I live with pain every day, there is no day without pain but I need to keep on going. And I train hard every day to be able to play for a few more years. I am grateful. As I'm getting older and the end of my career is near I'm more satisfied and happier going to the training. I really want to enjoy playing handball as much as I can.

But when the time comes, I will be ready. I know I want to be a coach and I hope I will have a chance to try it. I think women's handball lacks good coaches and female coaches. I have a vision and I try to learn every day for that role one day. I try to take the best from every coach and I'm writing it all down. Thinking about what would I do in each situation, how the training sessions would work, what I like, what I don't like. Sports science evolves daily and we all need to learn new things and adapt. That is my passion and my dream I would like to follow.

And that is the message I want to give to the people. Follow your dreams. Never back down and don't mind the comments you hear. Believe in yourself and be persistent. No matter how hard it is, good things will follow.

Dragana Cvijic
November 2023